10 Fun ways how to spice up your sexual connection

spice up your sex life

Getting your relationship to stay hot and sexy sexually is possible. Sometimes it can be spontaneous and other times you might have to plan it out but who cares.  Making time to keep the connection between you and your man is one of the most important things in your relationship. Men are physical creatures. Women are emotional creatures. When you put us together sexually we can make magic happen.

After being with my now hubby for almost 5 years we try to make sure that our sex life never gets boring. We put effort into creating that connection that was there from day one. How? Well, we still check each other regularly. Without connection losing your bond can create a disconnect that will hurt you both in the long run. We make sure to still fanaticize about each other physically. Most importantly we are always sharing words of affirmation to one another on how much we still yearn for each other in an intimate way.

Our intimacy isn’t always physical to achieve this. We make sure that we are always reminding the other that we are still wanted, still physically attracted and that we are always willing to be sexual even if one of us isn’t in the mood. Trust that even if I felt tired just letting him kiss, rub and touch me in my erotic zones got me in the mood quick. So satisfying af!

The secret to keeping your sex life spicy is never allowing your mindset to get bland. If you’re a workaholic, a mom, or just been having a low sex drive you can still get your sexy back! Whether you’re in the mood or not once you allow yourself to feel touch, to kiss, to add the sexiness into your relationship no matter how long it’s been your body will naturally feel the connection. Sexuality is a mindset. You need to get your mind right to get your sex life right back on track.

With these few tricks, you will get your relationship sexually slipping, sliding and explosive for not just him but most importantly you!

1.  Time to spice it up       

Trying new things in life not just in your relationship entices our minds. Think of something you’ve always thought of trying sexually that you never had the guts to. Whether it’s going to a sex shop with your man or even online shopping viewing some fun items to buy with him. A sexy outfit, handcuffs or silky blindfolds are all things that can turn up the heat in the room. 

2.   Take it slow

Some of us are in a hurry to get it over with but building momentum to get to the big O finish line can make the intimacy even more worth his wild. Let’s take it back to the beginning when we took our time by letting each touch, kiss, breath gradually increase our arousal. By doing this you are allowing your bodies to slowly yearn for more. Even if you aren’t into taking it too slow. You can try by setting up slow. Give each other soft sensual massages with a sexy smelling oil. Or take a warm bubble bath with some bubbly teasing each other with what’s about to go down.

3.  Sweet kisses

Remember how fun a make-out session use to be when you first started dating. It can still be that hot. Instead of jumping right into sex, start with soft slow tap kisses. Kiss each other’s neck, shoulders, collarbone then work your way up to full on slow twirls of French kissing with lip sucking.

4.  Time to get Messy

The messier the kinkier. Getting messy together could be such a turn on. If you’ve never used lubes or edibles the time is now. Warning this will drive him wild. For some reason, a lot of guys fantasize about licking things off us in all areas of the body. Try playing with flavored lubricants, ice, whipped cream, chocolate syrup or even some peanut butter. Get creative the messier the better. Remember to make it fun and sexy. Don’t get freaked out if the mess gets on the sheets or furniture you’ll clean it later.

5.  Talk dirty to me

Men love when women share their innermost desires with them. So both of you can practice sharing what you like passionately to one another. Don’t be shy and let go. Remember that being open will build on your connection. If you like when he takes control let him know. Whisper in his ear and tell him how you want it and encourage him as he is doing it. As well as make sure he tells you what he likes and how he wants to be touched. Couples that share each other’s fantasies can prevent the desire from wanting to find it from somewhere else. Encourage each other to share their desires and try a new move neither of you have done.

sex. relationships. connection. marriage.

6.  Sexting

If you’re over the age of 25 and haven’t Sext then you’ve been missing out! Sexting is not just sexy when dating but when you sext your boyfriend or hubby it has him yearning for a piece of cake they can’t wait to eat when they get home. When take a bathroom break at work send him a naughty text telling him how sexy his biceps looked in that shirt he left in. Or how you can’t stop thinking about the last time he made you O. Keep the flow going back and forth. Start describing by teasing him text by text back and forth what you can’t stop thinking about trying with him in bed that night. Hey if you want to send him a sexy pic of your cleavage go for it just make sure you leave your face out (Damn you Cloud).

7.   Check yourselves out

Next time you guys are getting naughty light a whole bunch of candles to set the mood. Ambiance just feels sexier. Spray that perfume he loves and vice versa for him. Then when getting ready to get intimate position your selves in front of a mirror. If you don’t have one in your room go buy one. Watching the way your body moves and him watching how turned on your expressions are, will get you both so turned on you won’t regret it. Just make sure you let go of your inhabitations and don’t let body insecurities stop you from feeling turned on. Trust that your man just wants to feel your touch and be physically connected to you again he doesn’t care about your back roll or cellulite. That’s what the candles are for setting the mood and let your insecurities go.  

8. Gaming

Adding fun to your relationships sex life could be as fun as game night. An alternative to playing with a group of friends would be creating your own game night with your man. Whether it’s playing truth or dare with each other to remind each other of your youth. Strip dice, or a sexy new game from that specialty online store I told you I mentioned earlier. You guys can buy your fave bottle of wine, champagne or beer of your liking. Set the tone with some music. Then play whatever game you like to set up the tone. You could even practice role-playing your favorite kind of scenarios, blindfold each other than try an erotic move or make up your own game to keep things spicy that night.  

9.  Read in your best sexy voice

This may seem silly to you but try reading an erotic novel to each other. Start with one of you reading and the other one blindfolded. Then start reading out one of the sexy passages out loud to each other. Closing your eyes and listening to the way the characters are being pleased can be such a turn on. It gets your mind wondering which then gets your blood flowing throughout your body. A few passages and you both will want to start reenacting what the characters are doing In the book to one another.

10.   However whenever

          When you’ve been together a long time it can be hard to just spontaneously be physically intimate. But the point of these suggestions is to get you out of your usual routine. Getting it on day or night. Daytime is even better because if you’re like me you have way more energy. You could randomly surprise him while you’re doing laundry and have him enter you while you’re sitting on that warm dryer. Wait till nighttime and sneak into one of your cars and get steamy like Rose and Jack from Titanic. You could try doing it in on the floor in the living room, at a random restaurant bathroom, in an elevator let your libido go wild. If you are making time for it. Try switching it up even if you have to start planning a date night every other week. Just because the date night date is planned doesn’t mean the rest of that date should be. Make the time however whenever whatever it takes. It is a must if you want to have a long-lasting relationship. Keep it spicy and start slowly adding whatever it takes to make sure you both are being pleased.                 


Trying these suggestions will amp up your sexual connection like never before. He will be so surprised and you will be too. Having sex is not only important for your relationship but it’s important for your health too. Your body and mind benefit from the intimacy and hormones that flow through your body when you get it on. It’s all about trying and experimenting. Learn what you both like and once you do you’ll both be wanting more. It doesn’t have to be every day all day but enough to not let weeks go by. Step out of your comfort zone and listen to what your body pulses for. Best part you can start now.

Have you been searching for ways to spice up your love life? Do you find it hard to keep the connection flowing after being together a long time? It's common and nothing to be ashamed of. Try one or more of these fun ideas and let me know in the comments if they've helped you and your guy feel more connected. 








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