5 Steps to Upgrade the Intimacy in your Love Life

5 Steps to Upgrade the Intimacy in your Love Life blog post 2%2F13%2F18.png

Being is a relationship in it's beginning stages can seem so easy and passionate. You meet and it all seems perfect. You share about yourself things that you want the other person to admire about you. You look at each other in ways that make your heart flutter. You allow yourself to feel open enough to express your dreams and your desires. 

When relationships are going well you can't help to feel like you met someone you want to share your life with. Even though deep down we never truly know in the beginning if it will last a lifetime. The early stages help us to see the best in people. We question not judge. We listen and enjoy learning about one another. 

The intimacy is on a high because you are allowing yourself to explore in another person you can see yourself with. See yourself dating or even marrying. 

That intimacy level in our beginning stages is what helps in the process of falling for one another. 

I remember when I was dating this guy I was blown away by. His style, his communication, his affection allowed me to open up in ways I've never been able to. I wanted to share with him things I never told another guy because he was opening up a vulnerable side of him no other guy did so quickly. Our intimacy was on a hundred. The way we could talk about our past and hopes for the future gave me this feeling that brought me closer to him. It made me want to be with him not just date him.

There was something about the way he knew that opening up to me was that sex appeal my heart craved. Tell me more! I loved sharing stories and experiencing new things with him. But then after months of dating something happened. 

I saw that our intimacy level was fading. How could this happen? I told myself. We were doing so great. Was there something I missed? Then I realized that after weeks of expecting him to ask and share. I stopped asking and sharing. I left it all on him to create that spark that we once had. I let those intimate moments fade away with him. The ones that created the relationship that we made.

You shouldn't have to wait till it's too late to figure out that intimacy can fade if you don't put in the work to make it last. 

Being intimate is a chose we make to get the connection that keeps us together.

Take these steps to upgrade your intimacy level to a level that skyrockets your relationship 

   1. Let yourself be vulnerable

            With the day to day hustle, we often can get caught up in tasks that don't uplift us. We set walls up that allow us to be negative. We complain about our days at work. The route home stresses us out. being tired can makes us groggy. It happens and we are allowed to feel those emotions. As long as you don't let it drag you down when you get home. As much as venting or being upset feels good in the moment it stops you from opening up and being present in your relationship. Instead of putting that stress on your partner. Allow yourself to make it a habit to be open to him. To say you know what that's not us. It's my day today. Let yourself be vulnerable to his love. Ask him questions about his day. Talk about how doing something fun this weekend will make you so happy. Create a day during the week that you can do something together whether it makes a new recipe or go to the gym.  Yes, you can tell him you had a bad day but learning to not live in that day all day long is what will allow you to be open to the present moment. 

     2. Express Gratitude 

              Letting each other know how grateful you are for one another brings intimacy. Words of affirmation allow for you to make the other feel more confident in the relationship. People have a need to feel appreciated. When you tell you, partner, that you are thankful for him calling you during your lunch break just to say I love you makes him feel valued. Or telling him how much it meant to you that he picked up dinner without asking. Instead of something like finally, you did something without asking. showing your gratitude is a form of intimacy that can create more love in your relationship. 

     3. Do something together that the other person likes even if you don't 

           Sometimes we have to take one for the team even if it means you aren't crazy about doing it. Showing your partner that you are willing to step out your box and try something he likes shows him how open you are to the things that interest him. It allows you both to see a side of each other that you don't usually get to share. Whether it's going to a baseball game when you think baseball is boring means that you are willing to do things to make him happy. It will make him feel closer to you because you're actually trying something with him he knows you wouldn't normally do. just make sure while you're doing it you are present in the moment and doing your best to have fun with him. 

How to upgrade your intimacy

     4. Be Affectionate

       Everyone remembers what it was like when you first met. You couldn't keep your hands off each other. Even though it's not the beginning of your relationship intimacy is created when you are affectionate with one another. Kissing passionately not just a beck hello can raise your body's chemical balance that instantly make you feel closer to each other. When you take the time to look at your partner in the eyes and remember what it is you love about them it makes it easier to want to go in for a kiss that makes your heart flutter. the small things like kissing and hugging shows each other that you are still interested and attracted to one another. Even a hug can instantly boost your emotions and make you feel better after a long day.

    5. Always continue to get to know each other 

      Couples who have meaningful conversations are more likely to have a long lasting relationship. Even if you've been together for years their are still somethings you may not know about each other. Asking deep questions that you don't usually ask can get the mind thinking about things you didn't even know the other felt or wanted. Questions like when do you feel respected by me? Or what's more amazing then passionate sex? Can get each other thinking in ways you never thought of. It allows for you guys to not only get to know each other better but also brings that intimacy level even higher. Make up your own questions, do a google search or even look up some on pinterest. The more out the box questions the better because it allows you guys to see each other in a way you haven't felt in a while. 

Intimacy is about bringing your connection closer. Use these steps to connect to your guy when you're feeling like something could be missing. The most important thing to remember though is intimacy has a two way street. When you use these steps it can allow you both to open up to one another. Let yourself upgrade your relationship and fall more in love. 

Did you know intimacy can be created non sexually? Are you ready to try these steps to upgrade your love life? Try it out and let me know how it works for you in the comments below.