How to Figure out if he's really worth your time

is he really worth your time

Dating can be unpredictable. You meet a guy one day and he has you smiling from ear to ear. The connection seemed great. He has a good job, a great smile, seems fun and tells you things you’ve been waiting to hear.

Then out of nowhere you start to see he’s not all that great. He isn’t asking you on the dates you thought he would. He only texts you back at random times. He never talks to you on the phone. You’ve tried to meet up during the day and the only time he finds availability for you is at night.

When I was dating this guy who within the first two weeks of meeting made me feel like I found the one. I was dead set on investing my energy on only him even though I just met him. There was something about his demeanor and maturity that lured my interest. It worked immediately on me, his allure was on point. He would tell me how our developing relationship was the kind his parents had. Which was exactly what he wanted. I would listen with my heart jumping out my body while he stared into my eyes telling me how connected he was to me. Everything seemed so right how could I not see it then I tell myself now. Then he showed me his true colors and is the reason I want to help you see the signs before you waste any more time on him like I did.

Learn how to see if he’s worth sharing your time with

  1. He doesn't ask you out on dates

           If he isn't actually asking you out in a date that is a red flag. When the majority of the time he's asking you to hang out it doesn't consist of you going out in public that should be a problem to you. A guy that is really interested in you will do what it takes to impress you by treating you like a lady. Someone who plans a date no matter if it's going out for coffee, going to dinner or even going to a local comedy show shows that he cares about spending time with you. If the only effort he's putting is Netflix and chilling he's not worth your time. 

    2. You only talk to him at specific times

         A man that is available to you makes availability for you. If the only time he reaches out is during business hours or only at late night that is a red flag. Men who play games are often playing games with other women too. A man that only is available at specific times could be lying to you about what he really has going on. If he really is interested you should be able to talk to him at different times any day. He will be available to engage in conversation since he wants to get to know. 

     3. You only talk to him through text

      Ladies there is nothing like hearing a person's voice over the phone through Face time whatever it is that allows you to see the interest he has. If the only way you guys communicate is through text how much effort is he really putting in? Communicating through text is the lazy way of dating. It's OK to text once in a while sure especially when you're busy it's convenient. But a simple gesture like a phone call shows that he likes hearing your voice. It shows that he misses you. That simple amount of effort sows the difference between a guy who is not trying to waste your time since he is putting in the time to get to know you. 

Figure Out if he's really worth your time

     4. You're only hooking up

Physical connection is important but if it's the only thing that happens when you hang out then you need to see a habit forming. We hold value when we wait until we are exclusive and ready to be with a man intimately. If we are giving it up without creating the mental connection then you're not allowing for the connection to be built by both of you. A man that is really interested in getting to know you will take the time to get to know you it's that simple. He will ask you questions, he will want to know about your upbringing, hobbies, what your friends are like etc. If the only time you two get to know each other is based on you doing all the talking then he is showing you what he wants. Which is probably only the physical part of you. A man that you allow to hook up with you without putting in the work on the mental connections is not worth your time.  

   5. He goes ghost on you

      A guy that just disappears on you with or without a explanation is not worth your time. The guy worth your time would never leave you behind without having a legit life crisis. Even if something came up out of no where a man that is interested in a woman would have the courtesy to let you know he won't e around or that some kind of emergency occurred. A guy that disappears for a few days, weeks or months without a peep then wants to randomly hit you up is defiantly not worth your time. Clearly you were not important enough for you to keep in contact with. If he truly cared about you  he would know how much hurt ghosting you can cause you. Why would a guy that wants to be with you cause you pain? When you know your worth you will see that anyone who would leave you behind whas't worth your time anyone. Learn from the loss and lose the loser. Your time deserves to be spent with a man that would always keep it real about his feelings and his actions. Whatever excuses a ghoster gives you is usally full of shit. 


Being single doesn't have to be so stressful. It should be the time in your life when you're having the most fun. You get to focus on all the things that interest you. Give yourself all the self love you need. You can have the freedom to do all the things that make you happy. Be able to have the confidence you deserve to have. When you're dating someone who plays games and wastes your time know that the only who suffers is you. Know the signs and when it's the time to cut of any guy who's dating you without showing you the respect you deserve. 


Have you been questioning whether the guy you're dating is worth your time? What did you do when you realized? Let me know in the comments