A marriage is one of the most beautiful life-changing experiences most choose to share with someone they love. It's a chose to take your love to the next level. To not only devote your life to each other but to commit to staying loyal to the commitment of your relationship for the rest of your lives.
Every marriage is unique. We all have our own kind of relationships but we all do have one thing in common, we want it to last forever. We want to have a happy marriage. we want to feel loved and not have to worry if it will end in divorce. In order to reach the end goal, we have to put in the effort each and every day that you two share together.
When I got married it was the happiest time in my life. (The actual marriage not the planning that was stressful) Knowing that I no longer had to worry about who I would share my life with was a weight lifted off me. Nothing in life is guaranteed but what it meant to me is that we are committed to making this work for as long as we both shall live. We chose together to commit to making it work. To not give up on each other or the future we are designing together.
I believe that every relationship has their roller-coaster moments. The consent of marriage though means that your willing and able to go along for the ride no matter how many twists and turns occur. It makes me want to put the effort in to make it worthwhile for us. We're both committed to making it work and keeping each other happy. When you know you're stuck with someone for life, it's worth putting in the effort to make each other happier.
Follow these 11 Rules for the highest level of happiness your marriage can bring you.
1. Never both be angry at the same time.
When you’re married being angry is common. It’s the way you choose to be angry that determines the outcome. If you or your husband argue don’t let both of you get all worked up. Be the one to take the step back and look at the bigger pitcher. Whose point is more valid? Who got mad first? Is this something you’ll be angry about in a week, month or year? If not let it go. Sometimes we just want to be heard. In this case, listen to the points instead of getting angry together and not hearing each other out.
2. If one of you must win an argument, let it be your partner.
I know how silly this may sound but marriage is supposed to last forever. Sometimes you just have to look at the bigger picture and let things go. If that means one of you let the other win the argument so be it. It will be worth it and prevent you from saying or doing something you’re only reacting out of anger from.
3. Never bring up mistakes of the past.
The past is in the past for a reason. Don’t look back to bring up past mistakes. Focus on the present and what you want your future to look like. Everyone makes mistakes and once you forgive those mistakes you should not be bringing them back up to one-up your husband. It’s demoralizing and can make him resent you.
4. Neglect the whole world, rather than each other.
You should never put anyone else before your husband. Sounds difficult especially for people with kids, big families. and a lot of outside chatter. Remember that your family is your husband now. Your commitment to him is the most important one you chose to make. Don’t let distractions like family, friends or the outside world come between the relationship your building with each year.
5. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
Everything is “figureoutable” as Marie Forleo says. No matter how upset you are with each other, agree to disagree and sleep on your feelings. If you’re still as upset in the morning, make time to communicate calmly and in a normal tone how you feel. Most of the time after sleeping on it you end up feeling like the fight wasn’t worth all the commotion in the first place. Some arguments aren’t that serious we just make it that way in the heat of the momemt.
6. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
This one is huge! If you’re going to criticize which we all do at some point do it in a loving way. Don’t be mean about what he does or how he’s doing it. There is a certain way to get your point across without having to be rude about it. When you express your critique in a loving way you more likely to get him to listen and it shows respect. For example, instead of being like “Babe, can you actually help out around here. All I do is pick up after you and the kids.” Instead, you can say something like, “ Babe I had such a hard day, you would make it so much better if you could clean up the kitchen and put the kids to sleep so I can take a long shower and unwind.” It’s all in the tone and the way you word what you need or want that can get him to want to do things differently for you.
7. At least once every day, try to say one kind or complimentary thing to your life's partner.
Compliments and gestures can go a long way. We all like to feel special. Send a text or call each other during your lunch break just to say I miss you. Anytime you think he’s looking handsome tell him. After years of being together, we forget what we loved most in the beginning stages of your relationship. Both of you should try to compliment one thing your partner did that makes you proud. Whether it's saying how hardworking he is or him telling you how smart you are for finishing that work project. You can even try writing each other sweet notes in random places to find surprisingly. The next time he does something you like tell him how much appreciate that about him.
8. It takes two to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is the one who does the most talking.
Being married means never giving up on each other. Whenever you two get into an argument or disagree if you catch both of you going at it, the one who gets the loudest or goes for the juggler is in the wrong. Even if the other person started it. Remember it takes the two of you two create a discussion. If you want to make your marriage happy learn to listen and not be such a comeback kid. Most of the time if you discuss things in a calm way and give each other a chance to go back and forth without interruptions there gets to be a resolution.
9. When you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness.
Be genuine with this one. When you know you messed up don't let your ego or pride get in the way of saying admitting to yourself that you are wrong. When you're genuine about being in the sorry asking for forgiveness doesn't have to turn into an argument. Let your partner know that you messed up and take accountability for your actions. Doing this shows that you not only understand what you did but it also shows the other you respect them enough to admit your wrongdoing.
10. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire.
A hard one for some because some of us are just naturally loud. But if you could control your emotions by speaking in a normal tone and sound level it could prevent many arguments from occurring. Ever noticed that a conversation was going well until one of you got loud? Well, that's exactly why the only time you should be yelling is in an emergency. Plus if you have children together you don't want them growing up and remembering mom and dad always yelling at each other. It could set a pattern for when they grow up that could have been prevented if we learned to keep our cool.
11. Make time for one another
Self explanitory! Don't forget to make time for eachother. Marriage takes effort from both spouses. You need to recognze what the other person needs and be selfless enough to give them it ro them. Always communicate what it is tha will make you happy. Plan time to bond and bring intimacy into your relationship. We can get busy with the day to day but when we are aware of what the other needs you are more likely to put the effort. Making time for eachother is one of the most important rules to keep your connection in tack with eachother.
When you remember to use these rules you will slowly see how following them will make your marriage life feel easier to live by. Most seasoned couples would admit that some unspoken rules are vital for getting past rough patches and growing stronger as a couple. Putting in the effort to make your marriage work is part of the journey. Marriage is real it's not peaches and cream but when you both care enough to make eachother happy it's worth every sacrifice you make to see your spouse happy. But most seasoned couples would admit that some unspoken rules are vital for getting past rough patches and growing stronger as a couple.
Is there a rule you follow that I didn't share that you live by in your marriage? Do you think you could live by these 11 rules? I would love to hear what you do to keep your marriage life happy. Share with me in the comments! Thanks so much for reading.